by How many times have you been interested in a woman who already had ten suitors? How many times have you realized that the woman you wanted was also the most courted in the group? Perhaps the colleague who always has a circle of men around her during the coffee break.
Many at this stage make the mistake of thinking that it is better to try with the uglier women because they will surely have less competition. In fact, it’s more than likely that every woman you know, even if you think she’s unattractive, has her own group of interested men. And so, while you think you are his only seducer, you don’t even imagine that you also have a rival in love.
Note, however, that your first rival in love is yourself. Your baggage of insecurities and fears that do not allow you to act as you would like is your first rival in love. There is a conflict in the dualism between the animal instinct within you and the rational person society has asked you to become.
The most dangerous rival in love is yourself
In front of a woman you like, you go crazy, you waste the opportunity and end up pretending to be a care bear. Maybe you’ve even learned some of the best-selling techniques seduction but in front of the woman you really love, you suddenly discover that they are all the same.
Embarrassed by your own emotionality, you then rely on rational rules which, according to you, should work: seduction techniques, scientific intuitions, advice, etc. Tools you may have seen explained in order and detail. And yet… The inevitable two of spades. Why?
I tell you why: why do you use the hammer when you need the screw.
By screw I mean seduction; By hammer I mean all this rational apparatus that society has given you and that you have also collected for yourself, made up of rules, instructions and advice that you have until now accepted like gold pure.
How to face yourself?
Take the screwdriver and leave the hammer alone.
The tool to use is yours instinct of seductioninnate and natural. Free him and trust him, because he will do everything in his natural environment, his emotions.
Let’s start by unleashing your seductive instinct. To do this, the first thing to do is to personal improvement. Many talk about it and say they are working on it but it must be taken seriously. As it is not easy and the result will not be immediate, I invite you not to be discouraged and not to be afraid of failing. Progress is made of failures.
If I were a liar, I would give you a big motivational speech, like a football team does before a Super Bowl, promising you quick and guaranteed success if you believed it. But those would just be lies. The road to self-improvement is bumpy, treacherous and painful. If you’re lucky, you’ll walk for the rest of your life because you’ll never stop improving. To support those who take the path to improvement, I wrote The path to seductiona book that gives advice and a method to improve.
How to confront your love rival?
I emphasize that your worst enemy is yourself and this applies to all of us. The main source of our seduction problems is the social image that imposes itself and for which, in addition to being rich and recognized, we should all be beautiful in the same way. Without taking anything away from the career man who wants to give his all, I believe that there is a profound difference between a simple successful man and a free man. I am sure that the latter is happy and I believe in his success.
Becoming better men does not mean becoming top of the class. Above all, it is about freeing ourselves from ignorant prejudices which, after all, are almost never of our making. It’s calling ourselves into question.
Then we can also hypothesize the situation where you have a rival in love represented by others. You would find yourself trying to seduce a woman while one or more men are trying at the same time. The main fear in situations like this is “what if others”: “if others see me”, “if others find out that I like it”, “if others start giving me problems”…
The real problem in the situation, you may have noticed, is the judgment that others have of you. But what do others have to do with a relationship between you and the woman? Do you think that the judgment of others can influence you? Think about it. Because a woman who doesn’t think for herself and will accept being influenced by the casual comment of a half-stranger is a woman of little value who you certainly don’t need.
The trick to defeating a rival in love it is absolutely not a form of violence: neither direct confrontation nor teasing. To seek confrontation is to communicate your fear. The man who is afraid is unattractive. The trick is to not fight it at all. Ignore him, pretend he doesn’t exist seduce the woman. Simple. Focusing on another man is a symptom of deep insecurity that no amount of tricks will ever solve.
If the woman chooses your rival, there are two possibilities:
- You did not seduce her;
- She allowed herself to be influenced by others (and do you want such a woman?).
The only weapon of peaceful offense that I can recommend is theself-irony. To the rival who tries to make fun of you, you can respond by making fun of his own aggressiveness. This way you show that you are the confident man while the fearful man who needs confrontation is someone else. To a provocative reference to your flaw, respond by acknowledging the flaw and joking about it. Because you are neither afraid nor ashamed of who you are.
Think about seducing the woman, not your romantic rival
In addition to ignoring the competition and seducing the woman directly, I’m going to show you a second tip that can make all the difference. I refer to physical contact. Touch is what will bring you closer to the woman and make her feel comfortable, potentially creating a sense of desire every time someone else touches her.
